some berry and not so very good news!

Of note: This post was written before I miscarried on 8/21/14. I debated on deleting because of all the sadness I feel over no longrer being pregnant. However,  as I refelct on all that has happened I realize that this is a moment that I NEVER want to forget. This is our journey and our story. This was our happiness!




Holy Crap! On June 19th I was full of smiles and also full of fear. I looked at Troy pulling out everything from my bathroom vanity product by product and my heart felt happy and fearful. This crazy, fun, sweet, little devil was going to be a BIG BROTHER :) Oh my goodness. I hope it's a girl because Kayleigh's life will officially be complete haha.

We shared our little family tradition of taking a walk around our trail at our complex and stopping on the bridge to share the good news. It's simple but we love doing it. Kay found out that we were getting married on the bridge and also that she was going to be a big sister. For this story we got Kay and Troy shirts. Again, simple. Kayleigh didn't really get it until we showed her Troy's shirt though. She smiled so big, jumped up on J.T. and said "thank you" lol. She has been wanting a sibling since Troy was born. She then danced and sang her way through the rest of the trail about having a baby. She's not stopped kissing my belly since and neither has Troy. He points and rubs on my stomach and gives it a hug and a kiss. He is just so smart and so sweet. I am so excited for what the future may bring and also scared I won't be good with two and sometimes three in the household. I'm so exhausted in working from home and taking care of Troy that I feel like a failure already in a sense.

All  that being said the fear of not being everything to everyone and being able to hold it all together taken to another level when we found out that J.T. will be deploying. For 6 months. And will miss the birth of his next child. What the hell? Are you serious? I'm going to be alone with two kids for the next 6 months AND preganant. Excuse me while I go into denial. Just kidding. I am OK and am just taking it all moment by moment. This too shall pass and we will come out stronger as a family.

Cheers, LB!